Hopefully the first of many photos to be posted here. Dont expect great quality, its coming off a 2.0 megapixel htc Shadow. Maybe if i get a better grasp on paintshop i’ll learn to make them emo and sad like
other peoples photo blogs. (yes i dont use photoshop, i grew up with paintshoppro since version 4.0 back in the day and have grown very accustomed to its handling. Learning photoshop would only set me back to square one with no skills whatsoever.)
but if a living dance upon dead minds
why,it is love;but at the earliest spear
of sun perfectly should disappear
moon’s utmost magic,or stones speak or one
name control more incredible splendor than
our merely universe, love’s also there:
and being here imprisoned,tortured here
love everywhere exploding maims and blinds
(but surely does not forget,perish, sleep
cannot be photographed,measured;disdains
the trivial labelling of punctual brains…
-Who wields a poem huger than the grave?
from only Whom shall time no refuge keep
though all the weird worlds must be opened?
ee cummings
(we even share a birthday, clearly i am him reborn. XD )
Ξ March 5th, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ life |
You know, i used to write in one of these things all the time. It helped me clear my thoughts. Vent. Sorted my thoughts into something that somebody else could understand. I miss that. so why don’t i do it now? or more precisely, why havent i? Simple. Im stubborn. i dont like to air my weaknesses. childish really. I’m tired of it. what’s the point of writing if you dont make it personal?
Just a heads up. I dont do grammar. I cant spell for shit. think of me as a lesser known e e cummings. His works have always had a special place in my heart. the less i understand his writings the more beautiful they become to me. i start by trying to understand what emotions and thoughts he’s trying to convey and inevitably i end up finding myself immersed in his words swimming around me. I pick and choose them at random, reassembling them into my own thoughts, adding and building until they make more sense than id ever thought possible. it’s like he took the words as they appeared in his mind and threw them on paper before he had a chance to filter them like so many of us do. so many filters. we’re afraid to hurt people. we’re afraid to hurt ourselves, or at the very least, leave ourselves vulnerable. we’re scared to lose the image we’ve worked so hard to build.
When you spend part of your life building walls, and keeping people out, you feel like you’re backtracking when you realize its time to tear them down. you feel like you failed because for so long, you measured your progress in the amount of walls you put up. i guess its all part of growth. learning. changing. adapting but not conforming. Its the end of an era for me. new territory. im both scared and curious. frightened and excited.
as i write this, i’m trying to bypass the filter. letting the words pour out of me. finding a flow that builds slowly and breaks the dam. ive always been a rambler. wordy and off tangent. no continuity but i guess thats just how my mind operates. thats the beauty of having a blog. there is no one to judge you or grade you. you can write as little or as much as you want. whatever it takes to get those thoughts out and into the air.
this website is going to be the place of my rebirth. these words are my swaddling clothes that will protect and warm me against the cold. My thoughts will be my nutrients that nourish and feed me, growing from them and progressing on. And from all this, i will find myself. you’re welcome to come along if you dare…
